


Trouble in IKEA

by tinypeckers



Category: The Creatures (Youtube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 21:51:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3871012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypeckers/pseuds/tinypeckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seamus and Eddie need a new dining room set and that means they have to visit the dreaded IKEA.</p><p>Based on this post http://kedreeva.tumblr.com/post/86946664343/how-to-survive-a-trip-to-ikea</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble in IKEA

Seamus knew it was coming. He knew it before Eddie even voiced his thoughts, could see it in the way that Eddie started to form his words. Seamus was dreading it.

“We need to go to IKEA.” Eddie said so casually. It was as if he didn’t understand the pure horror the mere sentence installed in Seamus.

“No, we don’t need any furniture – our apartment is in fine, working order.” Seamus grinned. Eddie rolled his eyes. Seamus wasn’t the only one that could predict what came out of his partner’s mouth, Eddie had sussed that Seamus would protest with that very line he just said.

“Seamus, look.” Eddie said dryly. He produced from behind his back the leg of one of their dining room chairs. Seamus looked at it, blinked, and immediately disregarded it.

“Oh, now it’s couture.” Seamus joked.

 

 

“Seamus!” Eddie complained, “we’ve got to go. We need a new dining set and we can’t afford something fancy. IKEA is our only hope.” Eddie gasped dramatically.

“But no-one gets out of IKEA!” Seamus whined. Eddie scoffed.

“Lots of people get out of IKEA, Seamus. It’s a department store not a black hole.” Eddie said.

“Yeah, sure they get out but they’re not the same –they’re never the same.” Seamus said gravely. To Eddie, it looked as though he was mourning these supposed ‘haunted’ souls.

“Seamus, stop being so dramatic.” Eddie scoffed.

“Fine.” Seamus grumbled. He pushed past Eddie and grabbed their laptop.

“What are you doing?” Eddie dared to ask.

“I’m looking up a survival guide.” Seamus said seriously.

 

 

oOo

 

 

Seamus was curled up in Eddie’s passenger seat. His feet were tucked underneath his bump. In his hands was the wretched so-called ‘survival guide’ that he had printed out.

“Step one is to never go alone, always go in at least pairs.” Seamus murmured. His eyes flicked to Eddie and he slowly and not-so subtly admired his chosen partner, “we’ve got that covered.”

“Right, good. What’s next?” Eddie humoured his lover.

“Well,” Seamus sighed as he checked his list, “it says to make sure someone knows when you’re going in and when you expect to come out.” Seamus said. At that he dropped the list in favour of his phone. Eddie glanced over as Seamus’ thumbs danced rapidly over the touch screen.

“Who are you texting?” Eddie dared to ask.

“Jordan and Dan in case he forgets.” Seamus muttered.

 

 

“Seamus, I really don’t think we’re going to get lost.” Eddie reassured. IKEA was a crazy, wild and unusual place but Eddie was pretty sure if they just followed the directions that they’d be fine. Seamus was looking at him like he was the insane one for thinking such thoughts.

“Eddie, its IKEA. People get swallowed up in there.” Seamus said seriously. His phone chimed and Seamus was at once distracted. Both Dan and Jordan had replied that they would keep an eye on the time for them. Seamus beamed. “I think we’re going to survive this.” Seamus breathed in relief.

“Seamus, it’s a store! Not the hunger games.” Eddie whined. This was just too much.

“Shut up, you do not get a say in this.” Seamus snapped. If Seamus had to go to IKEA then Eddie had to do this Seamus’ way. Eddie shut up after that outburst.

 

oOo

 

 

The parking lot was full of cars and Eddie struggled to find a place.

“It’s because nobody ever gets out.” Seamus muttered as Eddie finally found one.

“Shut up.” Eddie scolded although he had to admit Seamus’ nerves were getting to him too. “We’re just getting a dining chair, remember? It’s no big deal.” Eddie said to soothe them both.

“Good, we’ve determined our objective.” Seamus said as he ticked yet another of the stupid rules he’d printed out. Eddie rolled his eyes before stepping out of the car. Seamus scrambled out to follow him and slammed the door shut.

“All right, we’re at C.” Eddie noted. Eddie assumed they were more at risk getting lost in the parking lot than a store designed to guide you through it. Seamus scrawled the letter upon his piece of paper and took Eddie’s hand. Eddie smiled as they walked to the entrance.

 

 

The automatic doors opened and Seamus’ eyes were at once on the floor. Eddie laughed as Seamus scanned the tiles until he found the clearly marked arrowed path. Eddie was dragged onto it and Seamus stood firmly upon the first arrow.

“Right, we’ve made it.” Seamus breathed out in relief.

“No we haven’t, we’ve still got to find the code for the dining table.” Eddie reminded him with a smirk. Seamus stared at Eddie in anguish. He really, really didn’t want to be there right now.

“I hate you.” Seamus pouted as Eddie started to lead them.

“No you don’t, you love me.” Eddie giggled. Seamus scoffed.

“Not right now I don’t.” Seamus muttered. Eddie slapped him upon the shoulder for his troubles.

 

 

oOo

 

 

After what felt like years of walking, they finally found a dining set both of them liked. Eddie wasn’t so keen on it but by this point he just wanted a dining table. Seamus had been complaining the entire walk and was now picking at non-existing hairs at his chin and trying to show them to Eddie,

“Look, this one’s grey!” Seamus declared. He had been trying to convince Eddie that they’d been walking for months and now Seamus was growing a beard. He wasn’t, of course.

“All right, look – there’s a dining set. Let’s get that one.” Eddie begged. Seamus looked at it, nodded in approval and then held Eddie’s hand dangerously tight.

“What are you doing now?” Eddie sighed as they started to wander from the path.

“Keep your eyes on the damn path.” Seamus hissed. Eddie groaned but humoured his boyfriend. He stared at the path while Seamus murmured the product number for their particular dining room set. Eddie heard him write it upon their little list, followed by a tick.

 

 

Seamus dragged Eddie back to the path in a hurry. Eddie allowed Seamus to do what he wanted, if only to get out of here faster. Seamus dropped his tight grip once they were upon the path.

“It says here not to disengage from the path ever again.” Seamus read, “it will end at the warehouse section.” Seamus explained. Eddie nodded, that seemed simple enough.

“Maybe we could stop and get some meatballs.” Eddie pondered. While they hadn’t been in the store for months it had certainly been a long time and he was getting a little hungry. The glare that Seamus fixed him with shot that idea down completely.

“All right, fine. We’ll just go to the warehouse.” Eddie sighed.

 

 

 

oOo

 

 

The warehouse was eerily quiet and scary. Even Eddie felt a chill run up his spine at the sight of it.

“Do we need a cart?” Seamus mused as he looked at the line of them.

“Yeah, I’m not carrying it.” Eddie replied. Seamus pulled one out and pushed it Eddie’s way. “I don’t want to push it either!” Eddie protested.

“This was your idea.” Seamus countered and well, that was the end of that. Eddie groaned as he pushed their empty cart along.

“Now, we’ve just got to stick to the main hallway until we find the branch our item is on.” Seamus said in passing as his eyes scanned the rest of his list. There really wasn’t much more for them to do – they could be free.

“Can’t we have a little wander?” Eddie said, if only to mess with his boyfriend’s head.

“Shut up or I’m leaving you alone in here.” Seamus said. Eddie gulped.

 

 

“Found it!” Seamus cried out before Eddie could say anything more. Eddie had to run to keep up with his boyfriend. They’d managed to secure a dodgy cart and so every few steps Eddie was wrestling to keep it straight. Seamus didn’t seem to care about his boyfriend’s struggles. He stood by their item and pointed casually at its flat pack.

“Well, are you going to get it?” Eddie asked as it was becoming apparent Seamus did not want to lift a finger. Seamus raised an eyebrow in Eddie’s direction.

“You’re stronger.” Seamus shrugged. Eddie rolled his eyes as he let go of the cart and pushed by Seamus.

“You love me so much.” Seamus cooed as Eddie struggled to free their item.

“Uh-huh, definitely do.” Eddie grunted. He pulled it out in one, almost too-quick motion and Seamus had to help him get it into the cart.

 

 

“Soon, we’ll be out of this place.” Seamus beamed. Eddie nodded.

“Right, here’s where I tell you I forgot my wallet and you have to pay for this.” Eddie grinned. Seamus looked offended.

“No, I’m not paying for shit – this was your idea.” He called out.

“Well, if you’re not paying for it and I’m not paying for it… I guess we’ll have to come back.” Eddie thought aloud. The pure panic across Seamus’ face was definitely worth it.

“Ok, I’ll pay.” Seamus said. He wasn’t coming back to this place even if Eddie dragged him by the hair upon his head. Eddie grabbed the handles of the cart and pushed it proudly towards the check out area. He probably wouldn’t tell Seamus that he knew his wallet was in the car.

 

 

oOo

 

The lady at the cash register seemed far too happy to work at such a death trap. As Seamus gave her his card, he wondered how long she’d worked there.

“How long have you been stuck here?” Seamus whispered to her without thinking. Eddie hit his boyfriend’s arm and tried to smile apologetically in the girl’s direction.

“I’m sorry, he’s just a little bit loopy. It’s the cough medicine.” Eddie lied through his teeth. The girl tried to control her scared expression. Eddie dragged their flat pack onto their cart. Seamus took the receipt from the girl’s hands with a hard stare. Before he could freak the poor lady out more, Eddie took Seamus’ arm and dragged him towards the exit.

 

 

“What was that?” Eddie said in a scolding tone once they were out of reach.

“What? I was curious.” Seamus defended.

“I don’t think I can ever take you anywhere ever again.” Eddie said. He was beyond embarrassed at his boyfriend’s behaviour.

“Good because we’re not coming back.” Seamus said, passing over what Eddie was really implying. As they reached their car, Seamus slid into the passenger seat without offering to help. Eddie didn’t call him out on it. He knew better – Seamus wouldn’t lift a finger if he didn’t want to. Eddie loaded their dining room set and took his place in the driver’s seat.

“Who are you texting?” Eddie asked as he started the car.

 

 

“Dan and Jordan, I have to let them know we made it out alive.” Seamus explained.

“You’re such a strange man.” Eddie sighed as he started to drive.

“Shut up.” Seamus muttered back. “Can we agree never to come back here?” Seamus asked his boyfriend almost pleadingly. Eddie laughed but nodded his head anyway.

“Yeah, don’t worry – we’ll never ever come back to IKEA.” Eddie said. Seamus nodded.

“Good.” Seamus said. Eddie smirked. He didn’t bother to tell Seamus that they’d probably need a new bookcase soon as their old one was falling apart. That was a battle for another day. For now, they’d made it out of IKEA alive. 


End file.
